cats

This is exactly how I feel when the neighborhood super friendly happy cat Frank comes over to visit

Omen goodies

Ahh, stuff to drool over and wonder if they have women's sizes...

And more awesome stuff!

All from metalhelm.com

Got to get my butt over there.

RIP Stuart Langridge

I had to write to my local newspaper about this story because it's come up so many times in the news over the year and it's bothered me every time. Basically Langridge was a Canadian soldier, served in battle amd eventually developed mental health problems. Mainly PTSD, depression and addiction to drugs and alcohol. The military put him in a psychiatric hospital for just 30 days and then expected him to go back to work right away. Instead he killed himself. Now his parents are angry and calling inquiries into how the military handled his illnesses, saying they didn't do enough for him. That's definitely true. But the military insists all his problems come from using drugs and alcohol so it's not their responsibility. What?? That makes no sense, he deserved more treatment and therapy, no matter what caused it. They are insinuating that addiction isn't a 'real' mental illness like PTSD is. So here's what I wrote:
Re: "Soldier's suicide case extended" (Nov.3)
This case highlights the continuing stigma against mental illnesses, especially addiction. Why do the soldier's parents have to argue that he suffered from PTSD and the military insists that his problems come from alcohol and drug use? In reality, mental illnesses are inseparably intertwined with addiction when both are present in an individual. You can't say one or the other is more prevalent or important.  Often mental illness will leave one predisposed to addiction and then the ensuing drug and alcohol use make both illnesses worse. So why is it insinuated that PTSD deserves proper professional treatment, thus the military is to be blamed because they didn't provide enough of this but if it was just drug and alcohol use, it's not the military's problem? Addiction is also a mental illness which also deserves it's own professional treatment. It isn't simply a character defect or a lack of willpower, it is a bona fide disease of the brain. Just as eating highly saturated foods for years will eventually give you heart disease, years of chemically altering your brain and neural pathways will result in mental illness, specifically addiction and possibly more. So why don't we give the same respect we have for heart disease sufferers to those suffering from addiction? Both deserve a chance to live through treatment.
Shame on the military for not giving Langridge the proper time he needed to recover from serious mental illnesses and forcing him back to work after only 30 days in a psychiatric hospital. Sometimes it takes years of therapy to be functional again. My heart goes out to his family.

Omen pre-order now!

Antestor's Omen is out for pre-order now at www.nordicmission.net! Eeee! I hope it's easy to order and all. Wish it would be on amazon or something but I dunno about that.

A little more info on Omen from Antestor

So if you didn't know already, Antestor has been posting teasers from their album on their facebook page and they just posted the last one. They also said the album doesn't have a release date yet but it will be available through Bombworks records and Nordic Mission. I hope they make it easy to buy because none of their other albums are and it's frustrating!

so clearly I'm tired

I overreacted to facebook because I'm still burnt out and tired from yesterday. I did too much in one day considering how much I'm recovering from. I saw my psychologist in the morning, saw my pastor, then saw a friend and did some shopping, then went to Bible study group in the evening and didn't get to my bf's place till midnight. Then I had group therapy this morning and I couldn't make it I was so tired, and I didn't go to the studio either like I had planned. So I'm pretty unhappy about how I wasted the most beautiful day of the season so far here in Montreal.

Fucking facebook

I'm gonna sound pretty petty and insecure now but I've got BPD OK? I fucking hate the home section on facebook! There's friends getting good jobs or going to crazy places, having more of a life than I've had in years. Then there's the friends that say they're friends but talk to you only for bit and then don't write back or respond to your calls anymore but they're chillin' on facebook and having dinners and partying together without you. Then there's all the activity of friends that have stopped talking to you entirely and never want to have anything to do with you ever again. Well sooorry for getting ill and becoming such a fucking burden. Then there's those who post about tragic things happening to them and they get so much support and empathy from so many friends and I've been in and out of hospitals for 3 years and almost died 5 times. Can anyone still empathize and give a crap? Apparently that's too much or something or I'm just not popular enough for people to at least care on vain facebook. Really the solution is to stop going on the home page at all. But even if I do, all this crap will still be happening behind my back!! I know this all sounds like self-pitying drivel, and it is. I'm immature, petty and want attention, if only because I've been so unwell in the past. Happy now?