bands to check out

Mehida, Deutoronomium, Oratorio. Plus Skeletonwitch are bands I need to check out soon. The first three are Christian. Hopefully it won't be too hard to find their music...

Children of Bodom show

It may have been the best show I've EVER been to.
Opening acts Skeletonwitch and Black Dhalia Murder were both very good. I never heard Skeletonwitch before so now I wanna check out some of their music. I found their singer to be very entertainingly cheesy/dramatic with the chest-thumping and dedicating a song to the devil and all that. Of course, hopefully they're not actually satanists but I highly doubt that anyways. Looks like from interviews they're a really nice, down-to-earth bunch of guys.

Wow was CoB ever soooo awesome! I stood right behind the lighting guy who had the setlist out right next to him and it was a killer list. Looking at it made me even more excited for the show than I already was. They played nearly all my favorite songs: Hellhounds on my Trail, Follow the Reaper, Everytime I Die, Angels Don't Kill, Hatecrew Deathroll, Hate Me!... And as an extra bonus because they love Montreal so much they played Kissing the Shadows! And the sound quality was great and the crowd was going wild and now my neck is sore from all the headbanging while I sipped some beer :D How can a concert get better than that? And thanks to my new little camera I have some pics and video to show too!
Looking forward to Dragonforce next week to see if they can actually play superfast live!



Skeletonwitch


Skeletonwitch being dramatic


Black Dhalia Murder's singer literally conducting the band lol


BDM and packed, adoring house


fanciest sound board ever with 5 touch screens! maybe that's why CoB sounded so good


CoB!!


good view of Janne and Jaska doing their thing


Alexi soloing away


Alexi and Janne soloing sexily together


Children of Bodom performing Follow the Reaper. Unfortunately my camera's mic sucks ass so really the video is to show what the concert felt/looked like, not sounded like!
And I see blogger also sucks ass with video in general so I might put this on youtube instead if I'm not too lazy...

korea pics

Finally I am now putting up some pics from my trip!


some traditional tricks on horses


in the Folk Village


massive ceremonial drum


crazy shoe store!


crazy shopping district with pretty cafes and yummy restaurants


fancy display of shoes


example of innovative architecture in Korea


neat display of more shoes


me in Central Park in the suburbs


the southern coast is beautiful


a ceremonial palace guard change in the middle of downtown


where the last emperor used to sit


some crazy squash concoction that was pretty good


my last supper with family included the innards of sea urchin (in the red rectangle)


me dressed as a proper Korean young lady


the view on the way back home

back again

Now that I'm home, I realize my trip to Korea was a real high for me and now I'm alone and in the dumps again. It was nice to have a mother figure in my aunt who watched over us and helped plan our days. Now I'm alone again but maybe it's just that I'm childish and that's why I miss someone babying me.
I've also gotten very discouraged about my mysterious condition and it really doesn't help that I feel I can't trust anyone. I'm so tired of trying to figure things out, trying to do the right things to get better when I don't seem to be getting anywhere. I guess I put too much of my hope on the health system here and psychiatrists but really, I don't think they can help me anymore. I don't think they know what they're doing half the time. No one really knows what they're doing, least of all myself. I've thrown out all my medication and I don't want to see any doctors anymore. I'm totally fed up with trying to get myself help. Maybe I don't need it anyways. I don't know anything anymore. I wish this sense of desperation would stop and I would stop doing senseless destructive things. I'm just becoming more and more a fool.

Theocracy ain't that bad afterall...

I accidentally listened to Theocracy's Mirror of Souls the other day and discovered them to be better than I initially thought they were. They're still not in my preferred metal genres and generally I just don't enjoy 80's hair metal style music but these guys do it so well with beautiful harmonies and solid songwriting. In fact, they remind me alot of X-Japan... And their lyrics, oh their lyrics! Someone in the group is really good at writing proper poems!
I think Laying the Demon to Rest can be applied to my situation these days. I'm definitely in the middle of spiritual warfare and this describes it well.

Theocracy - Laying the Demon to Rest

As I sit alone and tired, with time to spare
Temptation rears its ugly head
Born from a deceptive dream into a nightmare
It calls to me again
Testing me to see if I will break this time
Or at least how far I'll bend
I can see its glowing eyes and hear its evil cries"Come dance with me, my friend..."

So, the things that I want to do
I find myself not doing
but the things that I don't want to do
I fall into - Why?
Why do we struggle with the former things and
live in our own power below our means?
War
Don't you understand this is war?
War with the principalities and powers
Things unseen that would devour us all
The spirit battles the flesh
And now my wounds are deep
and torn wide open
I'm tired and weary, hurt and broken down

Lead us not
Into temptation
But deliver us
From the evil one
Darkness falls
On my spirit again
Again temptation calls
I can hear it

As the battle rages on and on
I face the things that put my faith to the test
When fallen angels won't leave me alone
Father, come and lay the demon to rest
When my sword has broken off in my hand
I see the dark futility of the flesh
When I'm about to fall, please help me stand
Father, come and lay the demon to rest

They're on my back
I run, but I can feel their talons
digging in my flesh
Blood trickles down upon the earth
And I grow weaker with each breath
Each time I shake one off
another wraps its teeth around my neck
And every time, the one, the thorn is there
To tear me down again
The angels counterstrike
Their flaming swords slice through the fallen ones
The demons reunite, attack again
The cycle has begun
Caught in the middle of this present darkness with nowhere to run
We're in a holy war
As it is written, so shall it be done
Where there's a will, there's a way, they say
But sometimes my will seems to get in the way
So You will have to fight for me today

I especially relate to the last 3 lines. It's incredibly frustrating when it's your will that is the problem. We truly need God's love to be victorious.
I am most impressed with their 22 minute long song: Mirror of Souls. It's an enjoyable song and it's an enjoyable story!

Theocracy - Mirror of Souls

[I. The House Of Mirrors]
Listen to the tale I tell a haunting dream I know so well
When walking home alone one night
my path revealed by candlelight
Ahead I see an open door with no idea what's in store
I glance inside the door to see
a hall of mirrors beckons me
I take a breath and step inside
a tale of love and shattered pride
The door slams shut, I start to run
And it seems my journey has begun...
I run and turn from side to side
with fear and panic in my eyes
The vastness overwhelming me
mirrors far as the eye can see
I see myself in every one
I see the things that I have done
A thousand forms of flattery
the fear soon turns to haughtiness in me
Different mirrors, different shapes
my different strengths accentuate
Each mirror has a name and face
and all reflect me in some way
I look at them to see myself
to judge my life by someone else
The metaphors within replete:
the mirrors are the people that I meet
Look at the man you see - in the mirrors
The things you can be - in the mirrors
The glory of me revealed in the mirror's eye
The mirror never lies
The fire in my eyes - in the mirrors
The vanity rise - in the mirrors
The power of pride comes alive in the mirrors
Gazing in the mirrors I behold
All the greatest chapters of my story ever told
In the mirrors
The world is turned to gold

At the end of the Hall of Mirrors
I behold a golden door
I imagine all the beauty
the other side must hold in store
So I quickly reach out my hand
To enter the next room in this promised land
I pull the giant door open
To continue my journey, I step inside
But it slams shut behind me, and I'm back outside
The pouring rain welcomes me into the arms of the coldest, blackest night

[II. The Stranger In The Storm]
The light of the mirrors has faded away into distant memory
As the rain keeps coming down
My candle extinguished
I struggle to walk a path I cannot see
And the rain keeps coming down
The darkness grows with every step
I could cut it with a knife
As the rain keeps coming down
I can't see a thing and I've never felt so alone in all my life
But the rain keeps coming down...
Caught in the fury of the storm
(The darkness suffocates)
Body and soul weary and worn
(Another twist of fate)
Never been so afraid before
(The ending of this tale?)
Never should have opened the door
(From euphoria to hell)
I question my fate, my end
to die in this storm
Maybe this was the plan
back from the day I was born
But in the hall of mirrors I had felt so high
I cannot walk another mile in this flood
So resigned to my fate, I just collapse in the mud
If I cannot go on, I'll just lay down and die
Suddenly a light I see, shining in the distance
I make my way toward it with my fading hope reborn
As I draw near, the light is clear
Though the rain beats its resistance
But I press on and pray this is a shelter from the storm
Advancing now toward the light
I'm quickly moving forward
This hope has given me new strength
I thought I'd never know
But I take a step, and fall right back
For the ground's gone beneath me
And I behold, illuminated in the light's warm glow
A dark chasm, a great abyss
A vast expanse of nothingness
A pit that has no bottom as far as the eye can see
It spans the whole horizon, and there is no way across
My lonely heart is shattered and all hope I had is lost
I'm startled to feel a hand on my shoulder
I turn to see a shadowed figure standing in the rain
But somehow I'm not afraid of him
Even when he speaks my name
And somehow I can tell that he means me no harm
Just by the peace that I see in his eyes
And even though I've never even seen him before
It's like he's known me all my life
"Why are you crying?" the stranger asks
As I wipe away the tears
I point toward the great abyss
The source of all my fears
"I must get across and get to that light
For it represents my only hope tonight
But when I saw the chasm, all that hope was lost
I've spent so long in the dark and the rain
That the sight of the light made my heart sing again
But the gulf's so wide, and there's no way across"
The stranger smiled, and took my hand
He said, "But you are wrong, my friend
You cannot cross the gulf yourself, that's true"
He led me down toward the edge
And pointed just over the ledge
And said, "Behold, I built a bridge for you"

I cross the bridge toward the light
The stranger saved my life tonight
I turn to try to thank him, but he's gone
A long way to the other side
I'll make my way without my guide
No time to waste, for I must carry on
The bright light shines forth from behind
A door beyond description
Blood and scratches mark the door from ages of abuse
I'm confused no more, for above the door
Is a weathered, old inscription
"All who would see reality, enter the Hall of Truth"
And so I do

[III. The Truth Revealed]
As I step inside
I can see another mirror
A mirror so bright
That my eyes must turn away
A mirror so high
I start to question all the others
And as I stand there in the Hall of Truth
my heart can only say:"Show me the truth, I don't know what to believe
For the mirrors all showed something different to me
And my pride has given way to misery
I've spent so long in the dark and the rain
That the sight of the light made my heart sing again
And the stranger built a bridge across for me"
"BEHOLD THYSELF" a voice rings out
in paralyzing thunder
It echoes all throughout the hall
and sends me to my knees
When the voice calls my name
I'm overcome with fear and wonder
As I slowly start to rise
and face the great mirror in front of me
When I open my eyes, I have to close them again
But still the image is burned into my mind...
A face with eyes as black as night
A terrifying sight
The flesh rotting away in sickness and decay
It's mangled by disease
I'm unable to breathe
Tell me what manner of creature this could be
'Cause it's not me
I run away as fast as my feet will carry me
Back to the door leading into the night
Even the storm that almost claimed my life
was better than this
And so I throw open the door and see a man
(The figure of a man)
The stranger from the storm returns again
(To save me once again?)
I see understanding in his eyes
(He's seen this all before)
Maybe he can tell me what I saw behind that door
"Tell me what I saw in the mirror
Before I ran away
Tell me what I saw in the mirror
That face of sickness and decay
Tell me what I saw in the mirror
That left me terrorized
With the lifeless, blackened eyes?
Was it a demon
From the fiery waves?
Was it the undead from beyond the grave?
Oh the face that I beheld in the mirror left me paralyzed
Won't you tell me what I saw in the mirror on this night?"
"The light from the mirror you saw from afar
The Mirror of Souls shows all men as they are
You entered the hall and you asked for the truth
The man that you saw in the mirror was you"
"No! Don't show me the truth
'cause I don't want to believe
What the Mirror of Souls has revealed unto me
And the face I saw reflected cannot be me
Dying and lost in the arms of decay
I do not recognize the face I've seen today
And if you say that's my face I must disagree"
The meaning of these things I saw:
The mirror is the holy eyes of God
The truth unveiled before me
with these words of the stranger:
"The mirrors you saw in the hall long ago
Were mirrors of lies, not reflecting the soul
When you look unto others to see what they see
You see an illusion, deception, false reality"
I have seen my soul in the mirror
And it has broken me
I have seen myself so much clearer
Than I had ever seen
"Can't you take away all this sickness
from my soul and set me free?
You can save me...I believe"
And then he said, "Arise, my child
our faith has made you reconciled
Now gaze into the Mirror once again"
We walked together through the door
And I looked in the glass once more
But the only one reflected back was him
Somehow the only one in the mirror saw was him
Gazing in the Mirror of my Soul
Staring at the man who took my place
and made me whole
In the Mirror
The Mirror of my Soul

I think that's an awesome metaphor for life and conversion. I feel like I've experienced most of the poem except the very end. I still have a hard time truly believing in my heart that Christ has took my place and freed me I guess.

leaving korea

Well I'm coming home in two days and I have to say, overall I had a good trip. I suppose the highlights are seeing my relatives, especially my grandparents who are getting very old and all the shopping!
I had a realization the other day about Seoul. I was in a taxi driving along the Han river (which runs through the middle of the city) at night and I could see highrise after highrise of appartments. They looked like they'd never end and the lights from the windows seemed to form a vast, sparkling ocean punctuated every so often with floating red neon crosses (there are tons of churches in Korea). It felt like I was riding through a surreal dream about a metropolis where, if you had the money, you could get whatever you wanted whenever you wanted. It was the manifestation of the capitalist ideal; everyone trades and gets what they want as the standard of living rises. We are living in a dream world of ease and contentment, insulated from the harsh reality of poverty most of the world lives in. In Seoul, you are surrounded by beautiful people, awe-inspiring architecture, magical technology and markets selling nearly everything you could want until 4 in the morning. It's a beautiful dream but so detached from reality. We are in constant slumber and it's hard to wake up from a good dream. Somewhere amongst the innumerable condos the collective spirit of Korea is sleeping but nearly ready to wake up. Despite the materialism, Koreans can be very spiritual and I think God's light is stirring up awareness of our spiritual poverty. I sense God is doing some great things in Korea and I can't wait to see the transformation!
I think that may have sounded cheesy but I get like that sometimes. It's such a contrast from how I used to see Korea. I felt confounded when I tried to understand the Korean way of life and only saw the superficial side of things and hated it.
Anyways, I've totally shopped myself out and miss hanging out with my friends so I'm glad to leave but who knows, I might end up back here again soon.
I took tons of photos so some of them will be posted soon, including pics of me as a typical Korean pretty lady!