out of the hospital x3

Haven't written here in a little while because I ended up in the hospital for a week yet again. It seemed to be the only place where my racing thoughts could stop. At home I was getting more and more down, so I smoked more and more until I was stoned all the time. I couldn't do anything since it destroyed any motivation I had which was really unhelpful in the end. I was living a slow, foggy nightmare where I would be constantly horrified of my faults and mistakes and of my grandparents dying and people leaving me. When I had yet another episode in the ER, instead of strapping me down completely, a really awesome nurse just stayed with me and held my hand the whole time until the meds eventually kicked in and I fell asleep. I made more friends and saw the regulars again but that place will make you crazy if you aren't already. We're all thrown together; schizophrenics, bipolars, anxious people, depressed people, drug users who went psychotic, personality disorders etc. It's impossible to relax there because there's either people screaming, talking to the radio or TV, saying things that make little or no sense or completely changing their behavior unexpectedly and doing odd things. I'm glad I never have to stay there too long.
After I got out I got into an argument with my dad and nearly ran away to a convent. I was afraid I might have to go back to the hospital but thankfully my pastor straightened me out and made with me a schedule to follow and I've been better ever since. I smoke way less now, I'm looking for a part-time job and I'm going back to school in the fall to study fashion merchandising.
One of my friends that I met in the psych ward the first time I was there seems to be doing progressively worse. He's using multiple doctors to get painkillers like Oxycontin which he doesn't need and he's abusing them all. I'm afraid he might die any day now, especially since he hasn't been answering his phone lately. Oh Lord, please save him! Give him the strength and faith needed to change.