About a week ago I finally saw a psychiatrist as part of some sort of youth program near my house. She was pretty nice. Perhaps a tad too sympathetic, at one point I ended up making her cry... But anyways, I am officially diagnosed as clinically depressed with anxiety attacks which would be the episodes I sometimes mention. She has prescribed me zoloft and rivatril. Haven't started taking them yet, mostly because I don't really want to stop drinking. Lately, it's been that and the occasional smoke that's been keeping me sane. Ah well, I've got to keep trying so I'll start them, eventually. I'm just so confused these days. Sometimes I feel like I'm totally fine and I don't need any help. I go about my daily life doing what I want to do. Other times I'm worried I'm a lazy, melodramatic spoiled brat. Or that I'm just like those troubled teen girls you always hear about or are acquainted with who are moody, depressed, may have an eating disorder, have too many boyfriends, cut themselves and of whom all you can think is "Oh boy, they're just trouble. They'll probably never be stable for long and end up killing themselves or continually live on the edge of death" It's just too easy to judge...
Oh yeah, she also says I need a good psychologist to really get better, which I totally agree with. I pray I'll get a really good one soon.
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