They've turned against me

They were my absolute best friends. It was amazingly comforting to know that I could call on them any time, from almost anywhere and they would be right there for me. When I found life too harsh and unforgiving, I always could count on them to make me forget and laugh again. When I found it too hard to ask anyone for help or simple company, I knew I could easily find myself in their enjoyable and entertaining presence. Actually, we were more than friends. They gave me so much pleasure in increasingly dark days that I slowly started to spend all my time with them. And just when I found them to be more important to my life than the air I breathed, they turned against me. It was the worst betrayal done completely behind my back and while they blinded me to reality they took all my problems and multiplied them into insurmountable mountains. They've darkened my world to the point where I can only despair in hopelessness. And yet, I'm still so dependent on their company. I've learned to let them manage my life and I don't know how to live without them. But the more time I spend with them, the more I suffer their abuse on my psyche and body. I have to somehow have the strength to say good-bye and permanently. I have to love life enough to choose a harder but better way of life. I have to have faith that things will get better with help and without them. I have to love myself to treat myself better and love others.