May 4th

Funny note: I told someone at the MA meeting I go to about May 4th being hard for me since it's when my mom died and she said, well then may the fourth be with you. Haha, I love Star Wars so that a was a perfect line for me to hear!
Anyways, I went to Mt.Tremblant with some of my closest friends 3-5 May partly to commemorate my mom and it went really well. I thank God that we all had a really good time, good food and amazing weather. I was feeling awesome, no bad moods, no bad urges but now that I'm back home it's not as great. Yesterday I had a dream where my mom was piggy-backing me and there were thousands of shooting stars around us. It was a really nice dream but when I woke up, I got so upset because I miss her. I think it might have been the first dream in a really long time where me and my mom had fun together, perhaps it was the first time ever. And it just made me miss her ALOT. I cried alot, and then Frank came by right on cue, it really is like she knows when I'm sad and later that day she took a nap on my belly on the couch and it was sooooo cute. Worth the allergies after. Today is a bit better so far. I'm supposed to go paint with a friend which should be good, haven't painted in forever.