what the heck is going on inside my head

Sometimes it is a mystery what is going on inside my head. It's been like 3 weeks of using dreams every single night. I prayed about it and last night was the first night in a while that I didn't have a using dream. Instead it was a nightmare where I had to kill people or be killed. I am concerned, because it must be a sign that things are not all that well up there. I also have been yelling at my SO a few times which I usually never do. I also seem more sensitive than usual. If something upsets my plans, I get more upset than normal. I thought it must be stress from school but now that I think about it, my dreams and reactions to life right now was not like this when I was at my most stressed just before being in the hospital. So what the heck? Why do I feel more on edge and tempted to get high? Yes, school must be a part of it but I don't think it explains everything. Maybe it's because I found out a while ago that my grandmother in Korea passed away. But I was never that close to her and she died peacefully at an old age. Perhaps I feel connected to her still because she was the only one with me when we saw my mom pass away. Which leads me to the question, am I also feeling stressed because May is coming up (the month that my mom died)? Last year, I organized a trip to Mt.Tremblant with friends and I was ok. No urges to hurt myself. So, I shouldn't be that upset this year no? It better not get worse. I have school work to do and my last final is on May 5th, the day after my mom died. Sigh.