Which means I am in the top 1% of the psychology department. Crazy! The awards ceremony was yesterday. I can't believe it. I can't believe how good my marks are. I know my GPA is 4.15 out of 4.3 but I didn't really think about what that number means. And I don't know why it's been working out so well. I just do my best but I don't work excessively hard.
It feels funny to get such an award. All my life I've been told by teachers that I'm disorganized and not a very good student. I would always hand things in late or pull all-nighters and finish at the last possible second. But since I've been back at university for the second time, my organizational and disciplinary skills have drastically improved. Without me trying to make them better. In the past I tried so hard to improve them, I would read books about being organized and colour-code my schedules etc. Nothing worked. I can only say that God's grace has changed me and also years of therapy. I think because my personal issues are/have been worked on, the rest of me has improved too since I am able to access God's love without my issues being in the way.
I am also in shock because, up until pretty recently, I thought I was good for nothing and that nothing would ever get better. Thanks to the incredible stigma around being a drug addict (and mental illnesses in general), I thought my life was over and that I would never amount to anything. Just a useless lump of meat that constantly needs the help of chemicals just to get through the day. I could not picture a day where I would actually accomplish anything positive. And yet it happened. I am so thankful to my guiding power upstairs and family and friends and therapists and doctors. This is an incredible miracle.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment