OMG i'm married and tired and annoyed

Wow. Our wedding was incredibly awesome! For once, a day in my life where my mental illnesses can't trick me into thinking that no one cares since there they all were, right in front of my eyes. My favourite family and friends (and of course the random ppl you don't know at all because they are your parents friends etc). All very clearly moved and celebrating an exciting life decision you made with your favourite person on earth. The planning of it very nearly drove us literally crazy (we might be over the edge now...) but we did our best and left the rest in God's hands on our special day.

Looking over our almost first month being married, I realized that there isn't just us 2 any more but also God to whom we committed our lives and to each other. Which is incredible. I see now I was right to put the focus on Him during the wedding and to go through it all in the first place because it publicly announces that we live for Jesus and are united with His love. Because, looking back, if I was not Christian I would not ever put myself through that ever! The wedding was an immense source of stress and always incredibly expensive even when you think you are being thrifty. It's like a public works project, expect to add more 0s than you thought you would to your budget.

Now we are annoyingly married. We've been irritating each other so much lately. I think there is this horrible momentum to the self-neglect that was necessary to plan the wedding and now it's hard to slow it down. The apartment got so bad that even I couldn't ignore it any more when I noticed mold growing under the seat of our toilet about a week or two after the wedding. It was the cherry on top of months of no cleaning anything at all. I nearly had a panic attack and considered sleeping somewhere else. Instead we spent hundreds on a cleaning service. We don't sleep normal or regular hours nor do we eat on any kind of schedule. And I'm tired from my meds interacting with the pot so I sleep a lot. We're trying to get back on track in life but I'm not sure it's working. At least we haven't clearly failed I guess. I got our cat to the vet for a check-up (she's good), I got myself to a doctor for random physical problems and the apartment isn't a disaster any more...