less friends

I've suddenly had to cut off a bunch of friendships, mostly the ones made in the hospital. I thought I could help them but in the end they were dragging me down with their own insane drama. Making my drama worse. I hate it when I have to do that. On a side note, schizophrenia really sucks. And, everyone has big issues in a psych ward even if they deny it or seem normal. So, I think that's 3 friends I lost at once. One of them is my agent. Turns out he gets violently out of control when drunk and he's been drinking more and more. I never want to see him again. Not safe. I got through the beginning of May, horribly, but got through it so this week has been better and I'll get through the end of May too. I still do lunches and drive my brother everyday and I finished another painting. The rest of the time I've been goofing off and smoking and checking the weather website everyday. I've just got to somehow relax more. For some reason it's really hard to do, sometimes I'm unconsciously stressed but think I'm not.