new therapy group

Exactly when I finished the 3 month DBT program at the Royal Vic my old psychologist has started a stabilization therapy group which is mostly about goals for people with BPD. He thought I should be in it so I went to the first one this morning. It was ok I guess. You could tell who was managing better and who wasn't. The one guy in the group seems to be doing the worst. He's suicidal, in the psych ward currently and hears things when his anxiety is too high. But he's in group and talking about himself freely so that's a good sign. There's one or two who are polite but don't seem as open with themselves. They will probably not get much from the group unless they open up more. I feel like a veteran of group therapy now. I did alot in rehab, some more out-patient drug treatment groups, the DBT and now this one. Well the great thing is that they really do help. They don't solve everything but they give you help, support and tools to deal with life. Seeing as I didn't get much of that when I grew up, I want and need it to learn how to live without driving myself crazy.
But I guess talking in group opened up the deeper parts of my heart because when I got home I took a nap and had an intense dream. I dreamed someone had lost someone close to them, like a parent or other family member and decided to do something in their memory. I can't remember what it was they did to commemorate the person but I do remember feeling guilty and saying, "I wish I did something so nice for my mom's memory." In real life I have felt this way and thought of walking in her memory at one of those cancer walks or something but could never bring myself to do it. And my dream demonstrated why this is so because as soon as I started thinking of her memory I felt a sudden and huge rage. My mind was seeing me at a tombstone for her, swearing at it and full of bitter anger and outrage. When I woke up I was surprised there was so much anger in me and wonder if it's real and been bottled up forever, only seeping out now.