freaking out this semester

It seems harder to get into the groove of school this semester compared to last year but maybe I'm just remembering wrong and it was always hard. Or maybe it's because of missing the whole second week of school thanks to hospitalizing asthma. I take meds now that give me heart palpitations so if I feel nervous about something at the same time, it feels like I'm having a panic attack. That's what happened this Monday, my first day back after being in the hospital. I managed to get to class but everything was making me more emotional. This girl in front of me was yapping it up with the people around her and I felt jealous that I couldn't be as social and talkative and then she started talking about her mom and I felt like I was getting driven crazy inside. I kept saying in my head, stop talking about your mom! And luckily the teacher came in and I was able to focus on what she said after that. I think that incident is something of a bad sign. I figured since I've forgiven my mom, I don't have PTSD anymore but it looks like I could be wrong. Which means I could still have a really hard time in the spring when it's her bday and day of passing. I need to talk to my psychologist about this. Right now I'm freaking out again. We have an assignment due in a week and it has to be exactly the way APA formatting wants it. Which means lots of random details have to be just so and my brain is stressing over it all in fast-forward fashion...