The best you can do is the best you can do

was basically the message I got from my psychologist this week. I told him how stressful the whole asthma thing was, how it screwed up my going back to school with meds giving me panic attacks and feeling pressure to perform and get top grades to get into grad school eventually, and on top of everything being forced to quit smoking cigarettes because of the asthma. Also been bothered about what my fiance will do in the future and feeling busy with so many things to do and already assignments are due and quizzes coming up. I feel like I'm being pushed to the limit with no breaks and you know what that means. Queue the self-destructive thoughts of taking all my meds at once or trying to buy cocaine. But my psychologist is right, all I can do is my best, cut down on unnecessary activities and things will work out. There's no need to be more than I am or do more than I can do because otherwise I would run myself into the ground and that won't do anyone any good. Just take one thing at a time, do my best with them and that will be enough. Sounds simple but I'm not quite used to thinking this way yet. It's especially hard to think this way if you are a perfectionist or expect alot from yourself. I used to do just that with myself most of my life but thanks to therapy, I'm getting better at accepting myself and trusting that things will work out as long as I do my best and stay obstinate with what I want.