a new schedule

Because of BPD my emotions are very intense so they often interfere in my life in the form of not being able to stick to anything regularly. I can't keep good habits very well and I've tried my entire life to stick to all sorts of schedules I concocted in my youth and not a single one ever lasted very long. Well here I am giving it yet another innumerable shot because otherwise I'm going to waste all my time either high or in romantic bliss with my lovable nutcase who is doing pretty well now on new medication, hallelujah! Anyways, this schedule is making me sketch, hopefully paint and play more music and sing. And lets my dad know about when I go to church and volunteer. So far so good. And my lovable nutcase bf is helping me to do it too, and stick to my idea of staying away from powder for a month even through the bad days I've had recently. The volunteering is the one really positive thing going on other than the bf. At first I was unfamiliar with what needed to be done and scared shitless so I didn't help out that much. But now I can since I've spent more time there and it's been very rewarding with my friend's boss now thanking me for the help and getting thanks or just seeing satisfaction from the cerebral palsy clients at the activity centre. I go in the morning and finish at 3:30pm and for the day I can see myself as a normal person going to work. I can picture what it might be like to have my life on track once more. I really owe this friend who works there alot since it was her idea for me to volunteer there. She's someone I might be able to call a close and trustworthy friend, hard as that is for me to do.