I was the speaker today!

Today was my first time being the speaker at the Marijuana Anonymous meeting today! I was so nervous the whole week I was asked to do it and during the whole time I spoke but I think it went well. I only had 20 minutes and honestly that is not enough time for my crazy story so I had to leave out alot of things. But I spoke a bit about my mom and how she treated me when I was young and how she had cancer for 10 years and then passed away. Then I talked about my first experience with weed and how I started to like it while with an ex who became a pothead. Then I mentioned the quarter life crisis where you know you are graduating from school and don't know what to do next and how that triggered my BPD to be even worse and then the nightmare of using so many drugs all the time constantly, then ending up in the psych ward, then using again and over and over again going back and forth between the two. And the trauma of being in a psych ward, losing your freedom and being constantly watched and being restrained on a bed so many times. Then realizing I needed to go to rehab and accepting that I am an addict and learning to deal with my emotions positively and taking care of myself instead of self-destructing. And finally practicing what I learned and getting better and going to school and having hope for the future as a psychologist to help people like myself. Knowing that God saved my life repeatedly and wants me to help and love others. Now I have to work on not being so scared of people. Can't be a psychologist and love others if I'm scared of them!