cancer...

I have been mentally well these days and I'm so thankful for it, but there is one major thing that I realized is bothering me underneath the daily activities. I went to see my psychologist and I couldn't stop crying over the fact that my future mother-in-law has bladder cancer. She just got surgery for the second time for it. I can't help but be reminded of my own mother's breast cancer and how it just kept coming back again and again until it took her from me. I'm so afraid that it will happen again to an amazing woman who has accepted me with all my problems, even when I was using. She's always so kind and practical and understanding. My psychologist recommended that I do something together with her or do something for her. Maybe we can go visit my mom together sometime or I could cook her dinner. Maybe go shopping together... but I don't know if I can explain to her why I want to do these things. I'm afraid I will start crying and she'd be worried for me. My psychologist says that's not a bad thing, it could bring us closer together but I still don't want that to happen...just thinking about talking to her is making me tear up arg.