I had the talk

No no not THE talk, just talking to my future mother-in-law about her cancer. Of course I cried and of course my psychologist was right. She felt very touched that I cared so much and said she would love to do things together. I mentioned I can cook for her when she gets her treatments and that it would be nice to visit my mom since I haven't been in something like 4 years and she said she would love to go with me and we can visit her mom too. My psychologist brought up the interesting idea that I should spend more time with her. I find this interesting because I can do things with her that I wish I could still do with my mom. Like shopping, going out for a meal or enjoying the summer on a terrace, just chatting, actually I can't think of much right now. That's weird. I guess, just living and being together. So, instead of always being sad that I don't have a mom anymore, I should be spending time with the mom I will have. But I guess I am also afraid of spending more time with her. I am afraid that the quote 'familiarity breeds contempt' will come true and we will get sick of each other and hate each other or something. I know this is kind of irrational but it is still a possibility and I really don't want that to happen. Also, I am just not used to having a mom any more. I'm not used to someone telling me what to do and watching out for me and telling me I need to be less lazy etc... I am afraid of all that too. Sigh. Being borderline personality really puts me between a rock and a hard place sometimes. What's with me and sayings today? I rarely ever used them and here they are twice today.