stupid dress

I love weddings. For selfish reasons mostly. To me it's an excuse to dress up, party, dance, eat and drink for a happy occasion. We're going to one this Saturday so I bought a nice black dress weeks ago. Then my future mother-in-law took my fiance shopping and bought him a 500$ suit (it's his cousin's wedding). And I thought 'crap, my dress was 50$. Maybe it's not fancy enough'. I wasn't sure what to do so I figured I'd do what my fiance would do. Ask her. I sent her a photo and asked if it was fancy enough. She said it was fancy enough for sure but too sexy. Both families of the bride and groom are very conservative she said. In my opinion my dress was not too sexy at all but I wanted to accommodate her opinion so I went out and found another dress. I brought it home and realized there was a hole in it. I had to go back to the dress store again and they gave me another dress that was exactly the same. But then later I saw it had two holes! By this time I was drained from shopping and very upset and angry. Why am I going through so much trouble for one person's opinion?? My step-mom said this is life, the older you get the less freedom you have. Great. And the store doesn't do refunds, only exchange. It's my favourite dress store. ARG! I begged my step-mom to come with me the next day to the store to help me find another one since she studied fashion. We managed to find another nice dress that has so far not developed holes. I even dreamed last night that I found holes in it. Now, you may wonder, why all the stress? It's just a dress and this little story has a happy ending. Well I'm stressed because of my relationship with my future mother-in-law. I've been trying to be closer to her, maybe even depend on her more as if she was my own mom. I find her very understanding generally. But she does have a temper sometimes and she's kind of a perfectionist I guess. So part of me really likes her and the other part of me is very scared of her. But I definitely want to have a good relationship with her. And this whole dress thing is messing up everything in my head that has to do with her. I want to let her know that I went through a lot of trouble to obey her wishes but I'm afraid she will be harsh and say something like just deal with it. It's just a dress. My BPD is telling me that of course but I am still afraid. And of course this all goes back to my mom who was very harsh to the point of scarring me but still cared about me and then died. I just don't know how to deal with moms any more if I even ever did. Now I am not sure I should ever trust someone enough to depend on as a mom. I feel it is just too dangerous of an endeavour.