quitting and trying trying

I'm pissed off at my addiction therapist. I know it's partly me projecting my feelings about myself onto her but I'm also sure she is indeed frustrated and impatient with me. A couple days ago she confronted me about the fact that I drank almost everyday the week I got out of detox and said that if I used anything one more time they're going to kick me out of the program. Fine. But then she went on and on about how I sabotage my own treatment and don't move forward and I said I guess it's fear and she said, "fear of growing up?" So what if it is? I need help with it then! And then she says I'm ambivalent about quitting, sitting on the fence and I'd say that's true but that's also a trait of BPD, I'm not doing it on purpose and it's going to take me longer to change it than the average person because I suffer from BPD. I said change is going to be slower for me because of the disorder and she dismissed me as if I'm just using the diagnosis as an excuse. She said it's just a label like bipolar, depression, schizophrenia. When I see her next I'm going to tell her that such people with those other diagnoses still have an easier time with change since they can still make decisions unfettered, though probably sometimes misguided. The nature of my issues directly affect my ability to stick with decisions and follow through since I'm on a roller-coaster of intense emotions and misperceptions that change several times a day. And then she had the nerve to say I shouldn't get more in-patient treatment because I get comfortable and then don't try hard enough to change. That is complete bullshit. I need more help, not less and not all patchy as it is at this center. Being in rehab in December for 28 days was not long enough to truly change since changing one's personality takes even more time than changing habits. She's saying I shouldn't get more help because I'm afraid of change and thus will sabotage myself. But I still want to change so WTF?! It's obvious that only the Holy Spirit can heal me. Stupid professionals.