Good Friday

As ridiculous as this will sound, I actually easily forget what Good Friday is for. So, I didn't really feel like going to my church's joint service with another one but a good friend guilt tripped me into going and I'm glad she did. I got my whole family to come along with me and we all had a good time. The worship felt full of the Spirit, my pastor did the sermon so of course it was good and thought provoking and we got to chat with friends and make new acquaintances. We got to ponder Christ's sacrifice and death and how he suffered under God's wrath in place for us.
As I was worshiping, it felt like God opened my eyes a little bit to see His perspective on my life. I knew for sure He will save me from sin, fear and despair and so I praised Him in advance for what He will do! I got to see a bit of truth which has given me stronger faith and more hope. On the other hand, I also saw that my condition has yet to get worse but I must persevere. I am so weary but if Jesus will eventually end it, then bring it on because I won't stop clinging to him! Indeed, my condition is a bit fragile. When some of my medication wears out at the end of the day before I take the next dose, I feel jittery, twitchy and anxious about nothing. It seems like the medicine is simply continually keeping back an impending episode. I just pray I will get to see a good psychiatrist soon.