loving truth

Sometimes I come across a praise song that really connects with me and goes straight to my heart like the song Be Thou My Vision and now I have found another one: Before the Throne of God Above. It pretty much covers everything I want to know deep inside my heart and not just in my head and it talks about despair which is a big stumbling block of mine. It also reminded me of something peculiar I do. Anytime I am deeply thinking about how God loves me like in the song where it says Jesus pleads for me and my name is graven in his hands and heart, I tear up and sometimes cry a little. So I wonder, why is that my response? The only thing I do know on the subject is that it is hard for me to really accept that God loves me. I guess this is similar to how I find it difficult to believe and trust that some people really care about me (which I know is irrational). I really want to know what's blocking me from just accepting! That might be the key to me getting out of this horrible period of my life.

Anyways, here are the lyrics for the song:

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea.
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in Heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there the risen Lamb,
My perfect spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace,
One in Himself I cannot die.
My soul is purchased by His blood,
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ my Savior and my God!

Oh yeah, these past two days I was able to finish my 5'x6' painting and start a 2'x4' painting, and I printed my second colour off the stone today, all of which is awesome.