fell off the wagon

Well, I can at least be honest with myself and most of the people closest to me, I have slipped again. I reason that as long as I stay away from weed I can handle everything else. Was I ever really ever a real addict otherwise? Really? And so I rationalize using other things as ok. And I want to go out to pubs and bars again but my closest friends know my struggle now and don't want to drink with me so I drink alone. They are being good friends of course. I can't have things both ways. But I'm not getting the help I need anymore. The treatment centre says the group I was supposed to wait for is canceled so they could have put me in the regular phase 2 group but I already slipped and need 2 weeks sober time to enter so I'm stuck with just seeing my therapist whom I hate until I can get my act together but who knows if or when that will happen. And seeing that lady once a week is not going to help at all. I'm considering telling her that I will stop treatment completely. They won't give me a different therapist so screw it all, they can't help me anymore. We'll see what she says I guess.