stupidly scared of sponsors

Geez. I always think I want to do the right thing and then when I try to do it, I realize I don't because I'm crazy scared. I went to a random AA meeting tonight (especially since I'd be home alone) and what I thought I wanted started happening. Two nice ladies started talking to me, took me out for coffee and spoke of the importance of being connected to the AA program through other people and having a sponsor. A sponsor being someone who you call everyday, knows how you're doing and supports you and guides you through the 12 steps to sobriety. I've been looking for one since I knew it's important to have one but it's been hard to trust people and find the right person. Finally, I figured since I liked one of the ladies and she's 8 years sober, I should ask her to be my temporary sponsor and it was a bit scary but I managed to get the words out of my mouth and she accepted. And then it hit me. I felt completely traumatized by what I just did. She asked me what was wrong and said it looked like I got hit by a truck. The look on my face was pure fear. It felt like I just jumped off a cliff. I guess it's fear of possible conflict, of commitment, of change. And I had no idea I would react like this. I just figured I want to do the right thing which is to get a sponsor to help me stay clean. I hate how unaware I can be of my own true feelings. I blame that on my BPD. Now I feel drained and tired from my tense emotional response. And of course it made me feel like drinking to numb the intensity but not that badly so I'm still sober. I hope this is what You want God. Please help me not freak out so much.