Suicide prevention week

So it's suicide prevention week here in Quebec and boy do we need it. Apparently 3 people die of suicide everyday here. That's just crazy. I hope this number is wrong. I've heard it's worse here than in the rest of Canada but I wonder why. I know that the Native population are really struggling with suicides so I guess that's one factor. I'm sure their high addiction rates don't help. What a sad story. They were grossly mistreated by whites in the past century and now their children and children's children are paying for it. To a much lesser extent I can understand that. My grandmother has a very strong personality that demands perfection and is not very motherly so my mom suffered as a child. She inherited some of those qualities too and made me suffer as a child as well. She didn't know how to be a mom and hated it. I guess that's what it means when the Old Testament talks of generations being punished for the sins of the ancestors and also being blessed for generations for faith. Good and bad things always get passed down.
Anyways, I've been rather up and down myself. The old compulsive let's just hurt and/or kill ourselves thoughts have been resurfacing. But I've been ok. They're not so strong that I can't reason myself out of them. But I have been getting a lot of irritating dreams. By themselves they're no big deal but after awhile of having them, I get dragged down. I woke up depressed so I couldn't go to school. I really tried but I just couldn't get out the door. I woke up believing that my dad is dead and my mom is alive. Ugh, just thinking about it stresses me out. That's all I'm saying for now.