the progression thus far

I know I'm heading for a dip right now but overall I know I'm still progressing too. I guess the road to recovery from BPD and addiction is really up and down but always still overall going up. Even if it feels super slow sometimes. For example, I know so much more about myself and how I think than I ever did in my entire life. By extension, I'm more honest with myself and God than I ever was in my life. I can admit that my mind is disordered, that I can't stand being alone, I don't know who I am and even small things can scare the shit out of me. And that I have become an addict and do need fellowship with others, no one can live like an island. I tried. Also, I can't judge or look down on anyone anymore. I used to feel a bit self-righteous when it came to people like the homeless, or drug addicts and prostitutes but I can't look down on them anymore. I am an addict and if it wasn't for my family I would be on the streets too. These people, along with the mentally ill and drug dealers and others on the edge of society are generally downtrodded, broken or suffering in some way. Now that I suffer so much myself, I can't look down on anyone for it. And I'm sure God is glad of this new attitude in me. It's so easy when you've got it together to look down on those who don't, like why can't you get yourself together? I did it so everyone else should be able to. You must be lazy or something. Oh how ignorant and pompous I was. This is progress, my heart is maturing in some way and this is something the devil can never take away from me, no matter how close to death I may have come or yet come to.