will you think less of me?

If I relapse back into active addiction, will you think less of me?
If I fall into depression and don't get out much, will you think less of me?
If I complain of feeling too much emotional pain, memories haunting me, will you think less of me?
If I find myself crying because of the smallest things, will you think less of me?
If I start hurting myself, cutting and burning my skin to feel better, will you think less of me?
If I purposely overdose because I can't take it anymore, will you think less of me?
Unfortunately, these are the questions I wonder about with my family and close friends very often. And sometimes I assume the answers are yes. Sometimes their reactions really look like a resounding yes which sends me into despair because it's such an extreme fear of mine; others' judgments of me. And yet, these are all symptoms of having BPD. I have to struggle with them all the time, less when I'm doing better obviously. And I still go for my therapy twice a week and go to MA meetings. But I also know it's quite the burden to know a loved one is always on the edge of crisis and I really hate being a burden. All of this is like holding a contradiction or dichotomy in my head and it feels like torture because I'm always flipping between one side and the other. It's like my suffering and symptoms vs. the well-being of those around me and somewhere inbetween, my responsibility to try to get better. I spoke to my group therapy leader about all this a little and she reminded me, all I can do is my best. So take it one day at a time, do your best and be satisfied with that. Don't worry about whether it's enough or not, or what will happen because what more can you do anyways? I guess I forgot and got ahead of myself because of my fears and past experiences. No wonder some of the main mottos in AA is 'take it one step at a time. Take it one day at a time'.