feeling a little stuck

Part of my enemy is that I tend to overthink things. But I can't help but worry a bit and feel stuck. I have some goals but am too afraid to work on them so I occasionally blow my mind with chemicals but then they make it harder to do things too. Goals like getting into the Art Therapy master's program and improving my french. I have some creative projects too like working more in photoshop and illustrator, writing music, painting, tabbing more Christian metal, playing guitar and singing... but I'm not doing any of them much. And it's not like I'm too busy either. What the hell is wrong with me? Where's my passion and motivation? Am I just lazy? Is it my BPD interfering? Still partly depressed? Too little confidence? Too much self-inflicted pressure? My psychologist kept reminding me to try to have fun in work and learning. I do have fun when I do creative things but I guess it's my perfectionism and high expectations that eventually get in the way. Must try to let loose and have real constructive/creative fun, not just fake chemically-induced fun/crazy/destructive stupidity that sometimes becomes scary.