triggered by fb

The world is friggin scary. This is confirmed by a recent visit to my facebook homepage. All the news posts are a reflection of the never-ending chaotic activity of my friends and links to their friends. And that's not including the rest of the strangers in this world and already I feel it's all very threatening. There's people accomplishing things, getting jobs, links to youtube of people playing metal guitar waaay better than me, my cousin seems to have lost weight while I've gained, there's a gangster friend of a friend with threatening amounts of swagger in their comments and their mutual friend who indirectly referred to me as a crackwhore and laughed at a photo of me, there's my exes with new girlfriends and me getting worried if unflattering party photos of me will show up soon. Facebook is really quite stressful. I can't help but compare myself to other people there and I hate that. I just get so down on myself and then I can't understand why God do you want me to be in a cold world like this where everyone is competing for who looks the best and accomplishes and makes the most with the least help? Meanwhile we constantly judge and size each other up and it all stresses the hell out of me. What's the point of someone as fragile and fearful as me to live on this planet? Why did You put me here why?! It'll be a miracle if I survive and get anything done. What does the world need me for anyways? I'm just another nobody with tons of problems. So I've got a few talents, youtube will show you plenty who've got more. I'm nothing special so why do I want to be so much? Well, so that I can make it and show it off on facebook. I can't believe how sad and shallow I am.
This is helpless little old me without You oh Lord. Life is like a horrificly bad trip with no alternate reality to wake up to but I'm here. You put me here for a reason. There's no way I can ever let go of You, there's only misery from never-ending comparing and death without You. I don't want to chase elusive accomplishment goals just to feel better about myself because it will spiritually get me nowhere even if I succeed which is unlikely anyways. And obviously if I don't then I'll be depressed and miserable my whole life like my mom. Tell me why I'm here, what's the purpose and You know best so I will do my best to follow Your plan. Then I will be content, joyfully living out what I was designed to do no matter what it is.
I guess a first step is to stop focusing on how the world is scary and more on how loving and powerful You are. But it's like seeing a huge tsunami wave crashing closer in the distance and not being scared.