It's going alright so far with just one a day. I just really look forward to the 4 times a day I have a couple tokes. Otherwise I'm cooking, doing a little gardening, hanging out with my bro and the occasional friends. But I figured I should do an official comparison of the pros and cons of smoking, now that I'm more aware of both than ever before. It's crazy all the contradictory things it does to me and I want to motivate myself more by keeping the cons in mind. Eventually it is just untenable to continue in addiction.
Let's start with the pros:
- relaxation, muscles relax, calming
- dopamine rush, euphoria, happy feelings, temporary energy
- fun visual distortions, closed-eye visuals, music from nowhere and tripping
- stimulated creative thinking
- heightened perception of visual details, makes everything look magical
- opens up spiritual planes of existence
- distracts me from problems, personal issues
- prevents BPD driven episodes of self-destructiveness temporarily
Cons:
- exacerbates emotional issues stemming from my Borderline Personality Disorder: I become more emotionally unstable and paranoid of others.
- aggravates my asthma, I'm also allergic to smoke
- takes over and replaces most other pleasurable activities in my life
- sucks up my creative passions (don't play instruments or do artwork)
- withdrawal symptoms: agitated, insomnia, even more emotionally sensitive than usual
- hides issues and problems from myself, can't be aware of everything or work on self-improvement
- upsets chemical balances in my brain
- costs money, takes effort to roll and smoke undetected several times a day
- possible DUIs/accidents/problems with law
- lower motivation, less energy and ability to focus
- eventually leads to more mental instability and BPD episodes of self-destructiveness: emotional boomerang effect where negative feelings/thoughts I try to avoid come back with a vengeance.
- interferes with prescribed meds
- influences me to want to take other drugs eventually
- slowly keep wanting and smoking more and more, exacerbating all the cons
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