to the moon and back

Do you remember which album was the first you got really obsessed over and absolutely loved? I'm pretty sure mine was Savage Garden, their first album. I must have been around 11 and I was so captivated I listened to it so much I still remember alot of the lyrics today. I recently listened to it again and still loved my favorites but am not as enamoured anymore of the entire album. It's just not the kind of music I listen to much anymore. But I noticed the lyrics of To the Moon and Back seemed ridiculously poignant. I remember my 11 year old self reading them for the first time and thinking, wow the woman he's singing about sounds like a really sad, pitiful person. I'm glad I don't feel like her and that I do have love around me. Or so I desperately thought. Listening again, I realize I'm extremely similar to the woman. Certain treatment by my mom and emotionally distant dad unfortunately have traumatized me. And I most certainly spent alot of my youth just waiting for the right pilot to come, the prince who would save me with his love and company and take me to the moon and back. Now, after spending 5 years with boyfriends I thought were perfect (but of course weren't) I realize they're not the answer. Then, not able to live with myself, I turned to drugs. Now I know they're not the answer either. Maryjane makes an amazing lover and it's so hard to break it off but at the risk of sounding cheezy, I guess Christ is the only one fit to be my pilot. But the lack of physical presence makes it so hard for me to not believe I'm all alone when without people and drugs. I was just so lonely. And still am, somehow. I've been hurt alot but repressed it all for so long. I still don't like to remember or acknowledge. Ah, this is another crack in the numbing dope wall. It's like spying a glance of something nauseatingly disgusting on the other side but it's reality. No wonder I don't want to be sober! There's only so much a person can take.

To The Moon And Back

She's taking her time making up the reasons
To justify all the hurt inside
Guess she knows from the smile and the look in their eyes
Everyone's got a theory about the bitter one
They're saying, "Mamma never loved her much"
And, "Daddy never keeps in touch
That's why she shies away from
human affection"
But somewhere in a private place
She packs her bags for outer space
And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come
And she'll say to him
She's saying

[chorus:]
I would fly to the moon & back if
you'll be...
If you'll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we
belong
So would you be my baby?

She can't remember a time when she felt needed
If love was red then she was colour blind
All her friends they've been tried for treason
And crimes that were never defined
She's saying, "Love is like a barren place,
And reaching out for human faith is
Is like a journey I just don't have a map for"
So baby's gonna take a dive and
Push the shift to overdrive
Send a signal that she's hanging
All her hopes on the stars
What a pleasant dream
Just saying